See, see, see?
And I bet you thought I was making things up… tsk, tsk.
No lessons or
advice this week—I feel like I’m getting preachy and up my own butt with
messages—just a good old fashioned brain dump. I’ve had a few things on my mind
lately and since this blog is partly about my emotional journey I figured I’d
unload here. So here goes:
I finally sucked
it up and sent out my first submission for Lightbringer! I realize part of the
reason I hadn’t done it yet was because I wasn’t ready to do it [yet.] The fear
of receiving a rejection on what has been such an ingrained part of my life for
so long was holding me back. Not anymore!
Did you know that
I have had Lightbringer in my head since I was a teenager? A good nine years,
I’d say. I’ve probably mentioned this before, but it was the first story I ever
wanted to turn into a novel. At the time everything else was—and I’m not
ashamed to admit it!—either Sailor Moon, Bleach or Ranma ½ fan fiction. I think
there was some Harry Potter thrown in there too, but it was probably satire.
Since I created
the world of Lightbringer, some of my ideas have shown up in other media. Once
it’s published it’ll seem like I’ve bitten off this or that, I’m sure. Am I
bothered? No. I’ve had these ideas in my head for nine years and they’re seeing
print whether or not they’ve been done before! Besides, as long as I take these
ideas and use them in new and different ways it should be fine. How many
stories have been written about wizards, vampires or the Greek Gods before?
Exactly.
Oh—apparently I
need to either a.) shut my big trap, b.) go where the crowd goes, or c.) not
care and do what I want. I was chewed out on a forum recently because I posted
a question about whether or not I’m spending too much time writing and not enough
time with my friends and family. I wanted to know if people do the same thing I
do—which is shut down my social life until I complete a deadline—or if those around
them come first. Stabbed a few people’s nerves with a serrated knife, it seems.
I was accused of
being selfish and disrespectful of the people around me. I was told that I am a
taker, not a giver and that all of my friendships are one-sided. One
individual—determined that he knew everything about me because of a single
question—went on for paragraphs about what a terrible person I am. Maybe a
question does tell a lot about a person, but not enough to solicit the
responses I received.
For a while I was
upset. I even ignored my better judgment and engaged with a response that isn’t
like me. Usually I have my Teflon skin on and don’t care what other people
think, but their responses stabbed me
in the nerve, and I had to be heard this time. I had to be.
There are few
people whom I consider friends. This is because I am a giver—a big giver—and I
have been burned so many times in the past that I am no longer inclined to give
to just anyone. Because I have been burned (hard, trust me,) I was very hurt by
the accusations of being a selfish, one-sided taker. Teflon’s back on, though.
Next time I’ll report the post and go on my merry way.
I deign admit
this, but I will for honesty’s sake: I’ve been a bit obsessed with follower
count lately. Someone de-followed me and it actually made me a little sad (and
that, in itself, is sad.) I’m sure
everyone’s felt this way at one point or another, but now that I realize I’ve
been doing it I feel a little silly. What does it matter how many names you
have under join this site? It
doesn’t.
There are two
important things about this blog: 1.) I help myself by writing it. 2.) I help
others by writing it. Would I like to help more others than naught? Oh, of
course (giver, here.) I’m happy just being a help to someone, though. If my message reaches at least one person, that’s
one person my message has reached.
Check out this
blog if you have a minute: http://dormroomcook.blogspot.com
It’s an interesting and unique take on the correlation between healthy eating
and weight loss. There’s also much to learn about self-motivation from it. I
plan to follow this journey closely.
That’s about it
for me. I have tons of other things to say, but I’m sure your eyes are a little
tired of my Bookman Old Style font by now, so I’ll sign off here. As always, my
hope is that you have an excellent week. Oh—! I am catching up on my reading now.
If you have yet to hear from me you will soon enough.
Thanks for
reading, thanks for responding and thanks for being here to talk to. You are
all great people. I hope you know that.
Until next time,
—R
