The Emotional Process of Writing a Novel: March 2012

Friday, March 30, 2012

Swapping One for the Other

Recently, I purchased a new car. I needed something more fuel efficient, more compact and also something with a lower car payment. It pained me to get rid of my current car – a fun, fancy, all-the-bells-and-whistles little coupe – for a less flashy, less decadent, practical type of car – the Volkswagen Golf TDI. As I never thought I’d like a car more than I liked my coupe I was hesitant to give it up. I even named that car “Forever Sam” because I wanted to keep it until it could drive no more.

I went to the dealership last Saturday morning sullen and forlorn. The keys in my hand were heavy and begged me to keep them. Second guessing myself, I wondered what I could do to hold on to good ‘ole Sammy for as long as possible. I could “granny drive” to save gas. I could eat ramen in order to afford the car payment. I could practice parking so it wouldn’t be such a bear. But, alas, no matter what I came up with it didn’t make sense; it was simply time to move on.

But then something wonderful and unexpected happened: I immediately fell in love with the Golf! Sure, I’d taken it for a test drive, but something about getting that key in my hand and taking it for that first spin made it feel alive and ready to befriend me- it made it feel like it was mine.

Over the past week I have had so much fun with it! It drives well, is smooth and peppy and – I kid you not – gets 50mpg highway! With the fancy Bluetooth controls and all around comfort and maneuverability I no longer feel the sadness I felt when I handed over Sam.

Yes, I will always love that coupe and will always miss it to a certain extent – but something about this new car just feels right. For this point in my life it is the perfect fit.

It even has a name now: Clarence Williams, III (what can I say? I’m a bit quirky and an avid fan of the Mod Squad.)

I share this story with you because I believe it can equate to writing. You see, last weekend I did something else besides purchasing a new car: I also wrote the very last sentence- the punctuation and completion- of my work in progress.

After all of the emotion and effort it is finally time to move on.

If you’ve read my previous posts you know doubt understand how hesitant I have been to finish this adventure and begin a new one. My anxiety was at its peak. How could it not be? I was losing something that had been such an integral part of my life for the past six months. When I felt sad it was there to pick me up; when I was angry I poured all of my frustrations into it; when I was happy it was happy with me. It was more than a friend, it was my confidant.

But now, just like with the new car, I am no longer afraid. I know this work will always be a part of me and I will always love it. But now I understand that even though one good thing is ending, another new thing is about to begin. Ready and willing, it is time for me to begin the next project; I am happy to do it because I know this new thing will still be good, just good in a different way.

Friends, I’ve said it before and I’ll no doubt say it again and again: do not be afraid to let go! Yes! Your work is coming to an end! Yes! It is time for you to move on, and yes! This chapter of your life is closing. But look at the bright side: another chapter is opening and, in its own way, I know it will be just as good to you as the first.

Until next time and, as usual, I hope my own emotional journey has helped to fuel you in some way. This is not the end of my blog or my adventure. I still have editing to do. I still have querying to do, and I still have a sequel to write. I hope you’ll continue to join me as I carry on with this process of writing novels.

And, with luck, I hope you learn a thing or two about your own emotions in the process.

Until next time,

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

My Very First Blog Award-!

A fellow blogger, Diane Carlisle, selected my blog to receive the Liebster Award, and I can’t say how gracious I am! Thank you, Diane. I greatly appreciate receiving this award.

This award has been traditionally awarded to honor those blogs which motivate and inspire us. It is also granted to those blog authors who have accumulated 200 followers or less. Its purpose is to summon new followers and increase awareness of other noteworthy blogs.

I will follow the below listed steps in order to promote a continuum of this worthy cause. Here is my list of chosen recipients for this award:

Diane Carlisle (returning the favor- and she really does have a great blog!)

Lee (Writerlee)

JW Alden

Michelle Krys

Carissa Taylor

Friday, March 23, 2012

Time to Close One Book and Open Another

Well, friends- this week I have made a miracle breakthrough! I am finally ready to finish up novel one and move on to novel two. This exhilarating feeling has greatly perked my mood and my level of excitement. I have not felt this free in weeks!

I know that over the past couple of weeks I’ve been discussing how bummed out and hesitant I am to complete my current WIP. After all this talk it probably seems out of character for me to be so jazzed up about starting a new project. I can’t help it! After weeks of searching for something to brighten my mood, I have finally found the answer.

I started chapter one of book two!

Taking advice from a fellow author, JW Alden, I decided to start mapping out and playing around with my next WIP (work-in-progress.) As I did the first chapter became more and more clear in my mind until I had almost the entire thing planned and ready to type.

Once I got started I literally could not stop. And why would I want to? The chapter basically wrote itself! Admittedly going a wee bit over my lunch break, I managed to get close to finishing 1/3 of it in one sitting.

The new characters are growing on me, I’ve fallen even more in love with the old ones, and a new world is vividly emblazing itself in my mind. Novel two is finally ready.

And I am finally ready to type it.

So, by quasi letting go and dipping my toes in the pool of my next project, I was able to dive in and start swimming right off the bat. In fact, I have two hours left of work and the minutes are ticking by as if they were hours because all I want to do is go home and write!

I still have some writing left to do for the first draft of Lightbringer, and I’ll share my time between finishing up and beginning book two. It will still be sad to finish it off, I know, but nowhere near as devastating as I thought it would be prior to typing up this new writing.

From my learning experience this week I can offer this advice: If you feel hesitant to complete a project you’ve worked on for months (or, perhaps, even years,) test out the future and see what comes of it. In your new project you may find the closure that you need. Even if you don’t, part of you is actively working toward the future, and that is always a good thing.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Rainy Days

I am posting this as my entry in Absolute Write's 2012 March Blog Chain. This month's topic is "rainy days."

Again, I whipped it up on the go, so I hope you find it to be at least half-way decent. Thanks in advance for reading. Also, see the bottom of this post for a complete list of the blog-chainers. I've read a lot of their work and it is amazing!

Without further ado, this is my entry titled, Rainy Days.

Rainy days are her favorite. She dims the lights, wraps herself in blankets smelling slightly of Labrador and tucks herself away from everyone and everything else. It is as if, in this tightly knit cocoon of hers, she is the only person left in the world. Sometimes that is a good thing.

Her world is replaced by the world of the word. Typically she types, but every so often there is nothing as comforting as writing in a small, worn out journal with failing binding and a coffee stain on the cover.

It’s beginning to fill up nicely.

Today in her journal she weaves a web of mystery and intrigue. The pen dances with the page, transporting her to a place of puzzles, investigations and a life much kinder than her own. She needs this today. Reality has not been kind as of late.

The savvy detective asks her for theories on who killed the gardener and why. He’s only a gardener, after all. He asks why anyone would possibly want the gardener dead. She responds to his query with a string of clues slung about in a line leading up to a discovery point in the very last pages of the detective’s chaptered life.

As his story finishes with his world’s final sentence, she is hesitant to let him go. He’s been her friend all these days, weeks, months. He understands why she likes rainy days so much and why his world is so very important to her.

He understands why it is that he exists.

The journal closes. She returns it to the rubber-band that keeps the messy, chicken-scratched pages in place. Outside, the rain continues to remind her why it is she wants to be the only one left in the world. It is a feeling she needs to escape from, and she knows the only way to rid herself of this world is to create another.

Typing will be faster, so she casts the journal aside and watches as her computer greets her with an illuminated screen and a chime. At first, the only thing she can do is stare at the blank, white document. No words come to mind as it continues to rain; no colors, no vibrancy transport her to a newer, better place.

Then the thoughts begin to sting. Reality becomes all too real. Rainy days might be her favorite, but they can also be a curse when the words do not come. Her hand shakes in the way it always does when she’s left alone with her herself for too long. She thinks and thinks, typing and un-typing, trying to send herself to a new location.

It doesn’t work.

She thinks of her friend the detective then and how he always succeeds in sweeping her away. His straight-laced sleuthing allows her to forget the stinging thoughts, the blessing and curse that is rainy days and the reality that is all too real. He’s always been there for her and she suddenly regrets betraying him by ending his story so swiftly.

The white document slowly fills with small, black characters as she brings her friend back to life. He’s ready and willing to solve another crime, to be led by her on a new adventure. Here, tucked neatly in her blanket, hiding under the dimmed lights as the storm outside continues on, she brings her friend back to life. They resume their companionship.

Rainy days truly are her favorite. They might promote the stinging thoughts sometimes, but they also promote and fuel the creativity that allows her to transfer to a different, better world. They give her meaning and purpose. They give her a friend.

She needs that these days. Reality has not been kind as of late.

Other participants are listed below. Be sure to check them out!

Saturday, March 17, 2012

"Lucky 7 Meme"

Lucky 7 Meme

JW Alden recently tagged me for a challenged called the “Lucky 7 Meme” The rules are:

-Turn to page 77 of your work-in-progress (WIP)

-Go down to line 7

-Copy down the next 7 lines - sentences or paragraphs - and post them as they're written.

-No cheating!

Once complete tag seven new people to partake in the challenge!

So here are my seven paragraphs from my current work-in-progress, Lightbringer:

Kyria stared at him, expressionless. Befitting of her double nature, the dim lamplight illuminated one of her cheeks, leaving the other in shadow. “I am leaving. I cannot say for how long; however, experience leads me to believe it will be quite a long time.”

“You can’t go!” Aaron protested. “What am I supposed to do?”

“Make friends.”

“This isn’t funny.”

“I never said it was.”

Aaron stood swiftly, taking the down blanket with him. He grabbed the tattered lamp from his nightstand and raised it so close it almost touched her forehead; as usual, not a muscle was out of place- she looked as stoic as ever. “So, you’re just going to leave me here?”

Kyria ripped the lamp from him and pulled it away from her face. “Yes.”

In reply, Aaron grabbed the light just above the place where her hand rested and pulled it toward him. “What about all that protecting me nonsense?”

She pulled it back. Aaron, caught off guard by the motion, stumbled forward with the lamp. He was close to her- so, so close; he could feel the heat of her chamomile breath on his chin. It reminded him of when she lay dying.

Kyria, several inches shorter, peered up at him defiantly. “You will be safe here.”

Their proximity did not go unnoticed. Aaron’s heart beat just a tick faster at the feel of her chest colliding with his; his blue eyes did their best not to waver as they rested upon hers, so fierce and sharp and full of determination. He tugged at the lamp, drawing her closer still. “I don’t want you to go.” he pleaded.

And that’s that! Being in the middle of a conversation, I hope this makes at least a little sense. As for the people I’m going to tag? They’re listed below. And hey, even if they don’t participate, they all have great blogs that I happily follow. Be sure to check them out!

Alan’s blog

Diane’s blog

Lee’s blog

Paige’s blog

The Poet Herself

Kellee’s blog

Leighloo’s blog

Friday, March 16, 2012

I am the Empress of Procrastination

All right, someone please slap some sense into me. It’s OK, I won’t blame you for it. In fact, I’ll gladly thank you for the friendly back hand.

Sounds a bit extreme, doesn’t it? Well, I need it as this is the first lick of writing I have done all week! When asked why I haven’t been writing by friends and family eagerly awaiting to read my final chapters, I’ve shelled out a myriad of excuses, including but not limited to:

- Too busy with work

- Writer’s block

- Haven’t been feeling well

- Carpel Tunnel

- I want to pay more attention to my Pug

Upon reflection, I realize now that the reason for my procrastination does not originate from one of the above mentioned reasons; rather, it stems from that pesky separation anxiety I spoke of last week. My mind is so adamant about not moving on that it is in a self-induced creative lock-down.

Similar to having “shiny object syndrome,” whenever I sit down to complete the final words of this world I feel suddenly compelled to walk the dog, do laundry, car window shop, etc. I want to do everything and anything BUT complete my work-in-progress (WIP.) I want to prolong it as long as is possible.

My solution? I am going to put the electronic gadgets away, give the dog a bone to chew on, hunker down in a quiet, comfortable spot in the house and force myself to finish. After all, the best way to get over a fear or an anxiety is to confront it head on, right? And that’s exactly what I plan to do.

I have eliminated all social plans and reserved this weekend for a marathon writing session. Who knows- I might even shut my phone off and de-activate the wireless. Whatever it takes to get me back on track is a welcome solution for me.

My advice for the week is something along the lines of this: don’t be afraid to let go. Just because one world is ending does not mean that no new worlds await. Sometimes you have to suck it up, put one foot in front of the other, and let your words lead you in a new and exciting direction.

Try to celebrate the new instead of mourning the old. This is the mindset I am currently urging myself to succumb to. I hope it will free me of my separation anxiety and allow me to close this chapter in my series.

Also, I’ll have two updates this week. JW Alden was kind enough to tag me in a little challenge called “Lucky Seven Meme.” The rules of this challenge are: turning to page 77 of your work-in-progress (WIP), going down to line 7, and then copying down the next 7 lines - sentences or paragraphs - and posting them as they're written. No cheating! Once up I will tag seven people whose blogs I follow to see if we can keep the chain going!

Until next time – Cheers!

-R

Friday, March 9, 2012

The End of The Road: How I’m Dealing With the Completion of My WIP

The answer to that is: not very well. I am two chapters away from completing my current WIP and I do not want it to end! Since last August, this has been my alternate reality, my home away from home, the place that I have put all of my dreams and aspirations into. Now, just like that, it’s over.

I’m dealing with a serious case of separation anxiety.

But who wouldn’t? I first thought of the idea for this novel when I was just a kid, close to ten years ago. I’ve dreamt about putting it to page for almost a decade but never got around to it. Now, after all this time, it is finally coming to completion. You’d think I’d be ecstatic that my idea has finally come to form, but all I can think about is the fact that it is over. The story is complete and thus will not encompass part of my world anymore.

From August to today I have dedicated countless hours to the writing of this novel. Every day I spent time plotting, planning and writing, often blowing off social events and hunkering down in my room for ten hour sessions. My life has revolved around this work for the past seven months. And now it’s going away!

I’ve invested myself so much into this world that the settings feel like home to me and the characters feel like friends and family. The typing of the final sentence feels like breaking up with an entire world. I don’t want it to go.

The sad thing about all of this is that I’m planning a sequel, so this world isn’t gone completely! Why then, am I so bent up about completing this novel? As usual, I think I’ve answered that for myself in the previous part of this post.

Like I said above, I have been working tirelessly on this novel since August. I dedicated the majority of seven months’ time ingrained completely devoted to it, and now this particular piece of writing is coming to its end. I think if anyone spent this much time on this one thing they would be anxious to separate from it as well- at least, if they liked the project they were working on.

And sure, I’m writing a sequel, but it won’t be the same story. Some characters will be lost to make room for new ones (meaning I will lose some ‘friends’) and old settings will be abandoned for a completely different landscape.

Essentially, the story will be the same, but also completely different.

I am hesitant to let go of those pieces that will not survive to see the next novel. I don’t want them to go; however, based on the world I’ve created they have to. I feel guilty that I am killing off these characters and settings to maintain a consistent story line.

I do not want to compromise my next novel by allowing these elements to live on, and so I know I must say good-bye to them now. It isn’t easy, though. My mind is swelling with spin-off, flashback and short story ideas; as ridiculous as they all may seem, it’s the only way my mind can cope with the loss.

In time I know I will get over this feeling of remorse, that once I start novel number two I’ll become excited for and ingrained in a new story, but right now I don’t care. I am going to mourn the loss of these characters who for so long have served as my comrades and I am going to wish that their stories go on forever.

As I’ve said, it isn’t easy saying good-bye, but it is inevitable. My recommendation for those dealing with WIP separation anxiety is to mourn the end, make your peace, put one foot in front of the other and move on to the next world. At least, that’s what I plan to do.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Writing About Burn Out (Part II)

As I discussed last week, I have been affected by writer’s burn-out. All last week I did not want to write, I did not want to think about writing, and even updating my blog to say “I don’t want to write” felt like a hypocritical chore.

In my last post I listed all of the things I do to prevent/survive burn-out. I also indicated that I was afraid using these cures too often would render them useless and I don’t want that to happen. I want my cures to work for me now, as well as in the future.

So instead of using one of my cures, I decided to try something new: I used them all at once (hey now, technically it is a new cure since I’ve never tried this method before.)

That being said, allow me to introduce my Saturday:

In the morning I got up bright and early to a.) flat-iron my hair, and b.) head to Union Station to catch an early train. I was thinking of taking my Macbook with me; however, today was a day of trying all of my cures at once, and one of my cures is to write long-hand in my trusty blue journal.

When I arrived at my destination I already felt good; something about train stations and airports seem magical to me. I don’t know if it’s all of the hustle and bustle or the reunions or the thought of being swept away to some place new and different, but I like them. In fact, when I got on the train I started a quick short story about train stations.

Sadly, I gave the story up halfway to NYC, but that’s OK- it was a start. I had a little bit of a spark and that’s better than having nothing. When I lost that spark the burn-out did well inside of me once again, though; I ended up spending the majority of the ride playing Words With Friends.

I mentioned that there’s something magical about train stations, and the feeling I get at a typical train station pales in comparison to the feel of Grand Central.

From its gorgeous architecture to the beautiful murals high above my head to the doors leading me out to a new adventure, I love it all. Again, I wanted to write about it and again that feeling didn’t stick.

My first stop was Canal Street. I know most of the stores and stands sell exactly the same thing and it gets old pretty quick, but I still like to barter. I made out pretty well, too: I talked a woman into taking ten dollars off of a scarf and gloves set, found an awesome jacket for fifteen dollars and a great dress for nine. After I had satisfied my urge to barter, the notebook was just asking to be written in.

Since East Village wasn’t too far off, I walked over there next. The funny thing about the Village these days is that every other restaurant is Japanese. It made me wonder if there’s a high population of Japanese in this area or if Japanese culture really is that big of a craze now. Again, I had an idea for a short story and quickly jotted the premise down in my blue journal.

When I stopped at one of these restaurants and tried something new to eat I noticed a trend: with every little thing I did I was more inclined to write than the thing I did before. After finishing my meal, I walked around for a while and as I focused on my breathing, allowed my feet to take me where they wanted to go.

I ended up in a Coffee shop on 8^th and it was there, among the locals and the tourists and the hoity-toity guy who served me my chai, that I felt 100% ready and aching to write. So in this new location, I sat and wrote, managing to write a good chunk of the ending of my WIP until 6pm crept up on me and it was time to catch my train.

For me, this new endeavor, this compilation of cures, was enough to kick-start my passion and get me writing again. And it carried on through my week. Every day since going to the City I have managed to write for 1-2 hours, and I plan on chapter grinding tonight and all day tomorrow.

So, I say this: if a cure isn’t working for you, if you can’t seem to get yourself out of a rut, why not try everything? You might just find everything you need to get back on the right track.